Learning to Listen
by x Ino Fan x
Summary: Tayuya had never been a good listener. [[A Tayuya Drabble, short oneshot]]


Learning to Listen – A Tayuya Drabble

Tayuya had never been a good listener. No, even when her flute brought the music ringing in shinobi's ears when they died, she had never learned to listen to it, the soft melody that spoke so much louder than her sharp tongue.

Sure, she could play, she could hear the jutsus, she could feel the vibrations of the keys clicking as her fingers rolled swiftly over the openings of the instrument. And yet, all along, she had known, somewhere, that hearing was just not the same as listening.

They say that there's one thing you learn before you die, in that moment of pure ecstasy, before your breath turns cold on your lips and your eyes grow heavy, heavier than when you sleep. They also say that once you learn it, you feel ready. You're complete—you can take it, the death. You can feel happy that it came and you were prepared.

Tayuya had never believed such things—she would answer curtly, saying no, never, you learn things the day you're born, and you keep that lesson with you. You learn nothing when you die—hell, you don't even accept it. Since there may be nothing after, who really knew in the world, you may not even have a chance to think it over. It's all in those few seconds before you really stop feeling. All of it had to be worth it. Tayuya strived to make everything worth it when she knew her death was coming.

But you don't stop feeling when you die. No, for cursed souls like them, you _feel_. You can't feel at first, the first time your eyes flash and there you are, stronger than you could have ever wanted to be, a demon, a monster. She would love to say it felt good, it felt strong, it felt invincible.

But when you become something you're not, when that cursed seal kicks in, you don't feel. You _are_.

You're destruction at its finest—an instrument, a puppet of pure chaos. You bring pain to others. But this was what she had lived for...right? This was what she wanted to feel was right. She couldn't know. When you can't feel, you never know.

The only thing that helped her, brought her close enough to have any idea of what feeling meant, was her flute. Her fingers brushed against they silver keys, she brought it to her lips, and the cold air from inside her rushed down the metal. The cold would escape, escape. She could almost grasp the feeling, the wanting to feel subsided, if only for a minute.

She could play. It wasn't a bloodline, it wasn't a trait. It was a gift, it was a practice, a working. It was something you learned, only a trace of something you had was involved. No, it was a passion. It was her thing, something she had found, discovered about herself.

Although she hated to admit it, even to herself at times, Tayuya did love music. Even though maybe she didn't understand why, or how, she did. And even though Kimimaro and the others made fun of her, she didn't lose it (but maybe lost control of her words).

She could play furious songs, used to cut the air like a knife, lashing others with a string of pain, peppered with staccato and shrill notes that pierced the opponent's ears.

She could play slow, melodic tones, rich with legato and a calm feel, that hushed the person to a silent and quick death, although calm.

She could play a mix, a series of different tones, portraying different ways of inflicting pain, but also pushing out the feelings she wished she could feel. Maybe she wanted to feel the own pain of her songs, maybe she just wanted to think she could feel. Maybe she just wanted to hear the music. But she couldn't feel, no matter the situation. It couldn't be, not for her, not for the Sound Five.

She had never played a happy song. She couldn't do it.

And when her fingers flicked the keys in that last song, the summoning against the shadow nin, she knew she heard it, no she _listened_ to it.

The air had rushed, the trees had uprooted, and she was completely unfazed. She was dazed, no, no longer confused, she knew.

Because she could _feel_ it.

Not only did she feel it, but she _listened_ to it.

They walked hand in hand, those two things, and when she fell, her own breath turning cold, her own heart slowing, pit pat, pit...pat.

She knew it. It was a waterfall of emotions, beautiful, glorious feeling. It was overpowering.

She felt pain, and she grasped it happily. She felt happy last, the soft glow, the warmth that entered her body as the sun shined lightly on her. And for once in her life, she smiled sincerely, not that smirk followed by a tirade of cursing, that happy feeling you get when you accept death.

Screw the people who told the legends.

Screw herself for not believing them.

But none of it matter, because she felt it now, and as that beautiful song entered her ears, the soft noise of a flute, begging tones, a soft crescendo into the light, she knew that she was ready. It had to have been the most beautiful thing she had ever heard, and the most glorious thing she had ever _listened_.

She was listening.

Pit, pat.

She had listened.

Pit..._pat_.

**A/N:** This was a short, spur-of-the-moment thing. I play flute, if you can't tell (lol) and I really loved Tayuya's character, and I have a bad habit of making good characters bad and bad characters good. Oh well, we'll never know, she's dead, so for all we know, it's –gasp- CANON! Anyway, thanks for reading! More soon!


End file.
